Nasty Conjugation

Saturday, August twenty-third was our six month Japanniversary. We celebrated on Monday by having a picnic on Kamakura beach. A picnic on Kamakura beach looks something like this - a rainbow-striped plastic tarp set on the dark volcanic sand, fluttering a little in the breeze; spread out on the tarp are two kinds of sushi, fried rice and yakisoba, some kind of sweetened fried shrimp, and a liter of lemon tea. Despite looming clouds earlier in the day, the weather was cool, sunny, and breezy.

After lunch we walked up and down the shore collecting seashells. There was a lot of trash on the beach, which was a little disappointing. A sign by the bathroom says, “Japan’s beaches are beautiful if you don’t look at your feet.” Zing! Japan 1, Litterers 0. We dug a bright red cell phone from a pile of kelp. Oh well, score one for litter.

After being here for six months, I feel it’s fair for me to express at least a preliminary opinion of the country. We’ve gotten to see and do a lot so far, and plenty of those experiences directly contradict one another. It’s hard to summarize the feel of an adventure from its midway point, so here are ten completely subjective and immediate opinions about life and living in Japan (by Joe Davenport and Holly Parker).

Observation #1: The Japanese people, taken as a whole, are not risk-takers. There is a saying in Japan that goes, “The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.” I’ve played forty-minute rounds of hangman since I started teaching English. Individual members of the team wouldn’t guess a letter until they had all decided which letter would be the most effective choice. I had to resort to saying things like, “Why don’t you try K? I think there might be a K in there.”

Observation #2: It’s kind of amazing how a kimono makes a woman look like a flower.

Observation #3: Japan is an extremely homogenous society. Coming from the so-called Melting Pot of my home country, the sense of sameness is sometimes overwhelming. The first day of Autumn was last month, and almost immediately every woman suddenly sprouted tans and browns, oranges and creams, with a matching pair of boots. They likely purchased these things from a dizzying selection of stores that sell almost the same thing in thousands of minor variations. Men with lighter hair are sometimes required to die it black for their company. In class, students always speak in unison. Many people think that the current 1.5% of the population consisting of resident foreigners is growing dangerously high.

Observation #4: Friends are nice. We realized this suddenly when we made a few genuine Japanese friends who have nothing to do with Nova. It’s nice when someone other than your employers knows you by name.

Observation #5: Even after six months it’s still a little strange to see people wearing surgical masks as they go about their daily business. A middle school girl in her sailor uniform wearing a white mask on her face somehow doesn’t stop being a subtly disturbing image.

Observation #6: Any and all of our disappointments regarding Japan have been due to the unreasonably high standards we had set for it. Sometimes I find myself thinking, “God, I can’t believe that dude didn’t give his train seat to the old lady.” And then I have to stop, review my thoughts, and realize that underneath the mystique of any foreign culture there are normal people, who stand an even chance of being kind of a jerk.

Observation #7: There are discarded grains of rice from someone’s trash on the steps leading up to our apartment. They expand in the rain and then contract back to hard little nubs in the sun.

Observation #8: Despite Observation #6, Japan can be very strange and surprising. There are people whose job it is to stand near construction sites and warn you to watch your step. The cashiers at McDonald’s are prompt and polite. A thousand-yen (ten dollar) haircut includes a shave with a straight razor and a face massage with a hot towel; when you leave everyone will thank you for coming. A packed rush-hour train is often completely silent. Despite (or because of) their strict culture, I have never seen someone so publicly drunk as a Japanese businessman at nine o’clock on a Friday night.

Observation #8b: Hard Gay.

Observation #9: Food shows in Japan are universally popular. At any given moment there are probably at least three food-related shows out of our eleven channels of basic cable (two of which are shopping). These shows all manage to make the act of eating food seem filthy and pornographic. I am so sick of seeing close-up shots of glistening food slowly entering people’s mouths. I never again need to hear the sounds of greasy ecstasy made by minor TV celebrities when experiencing yet another bowl of udon. Seriously. Stop.

Observation #10: On the Yokohama subway I saw the most amazing man alive in Japan. He was wearing a filmy white dress over a blue-and-white striped collared shirt. He had a pair of bright pink sunglasses in the shape of the numbers, “2006.” The best part, though, was the hat that he had created for himself. It was enormous and bulbous, like two white foam pots upended on each other. Attached to the front was a large doll shaped like a little girl, and tied around were other various dolls and toys. On either side of the thing were clear bulbs of water containing live goldfish. He moved around the train car, grinning at everyone through his white, neatly-trimmed goatee.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 at 6:41 am and is filed under Japan. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.