Nasty Conjugation

Hello everybody! Tonight I have a favor to ask of you. I have written a short story for the compilation being put together at MachineofDeath.net. If you don’t feel like clicking the link, here is a brief description from their site:

The machine had been invented a few years ago: a machine that could tell, from just a sample of your blood, how you were going to die. It didn’t give you the date and it didn’t give you specifics. It just spat out a sliver of paper upon which were printed, in careful block letters, the words “DROWNED” or “CANCER” or “OLD AGE” or “CHOKED ON A HANDFUL OF POPCORN”. It let people know how they were going to die.

My job was to write a story with their machine as a central theme. The submission deadline is the end of April, and they’re going to pick their favorites to go in the compilation. As a sidenote, one of the editors is Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics.

I would really, really appreciate it if anyone can find it in their heart to read and comment on what I’ve written. I know it’s long, so only enter into this venture if you’re bored at work or avoiding final exams. This is the first rough draft, so let me know if you have any criticisms or suggestions. There may be some formatting or syntax errors which I will fix as I find them. I want to submit a fixed-up draft to them within a day or two. Thanks for reading!

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Everyone. Something terrible has happened.

Kurt Vonnegut died tonight.

He had many amazing words, but these ones always stuck with me:

I’ve been feeling a little bit overwhelmed by things lately. All of these big adult choices have been weighing heavily on me, and I’ve been prone to periods of late-night introspection. I decided it would be good to put my thoughts down and clear my head a little. Tonight I decided to write about Suzy. I’m posting it here to get my feelings out in the open, but I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to read it. It’s pretty long and personal and not very happy, but here it is. I haven’t really proofread it, so please excuse any mistakes. If anyone can correct or add to my details I would really appreciate it.

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Hello everybody! It was recently brought to my attention by a dear friend that I have been lax in my duties. Since returning from Japan Holly and I have been caught up in the swirling madness of repatriation and settling in. Here comes an update!

We are both currently settled down in Tallahassee. I’m staying with the esteemed Commodore Evan and she with her parents. We’re looking for houses and planning a wedding and generally making big crazy adult decisions. Holly is planning to go back and get her Master’s degree in political science in Fall, but for the moment she’s being all cute and working at a pre-school. As for myself, I accidentally signed up for a Master’s program for this Fall, as well. Don’t ask me how it happened, I’m pretty sure it was just a clerical error anyway.

I am performing a show with an impromptu band (read: Me and Evan) this Thursday at some hippie art collective house. I’m probably going to wear a white jumpsuit for it. Holly was contacted by Senator Bill Nelson today to interview for a position in his office. I added a little ditty about M. Ward to the site that you can find below this post. Everything is pretty high stakes right now, but we’re playing it fast and loose. Don’t worry about us, folks. We have everything completely under control.

Adding another entry to my Music category, here is something I wrote from my impressions on M. Ward. It waxes a little poetic, so I hope you’re reading this on an empty stomach.

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