Nineish
Hail and well met, friend. I hope everyhing is well with you and yours. Things are heating up for Team Tallahassee, as Holly and Joe will have, by the end of this day, begun their first semester of graduate education. It’s the dawning of an exciting new era, and aren’t we lucky to all be here to bear witness? Exciting times lie ahead, dear reader. Stay tuned.
Here is a poem I wrote today while sitting in my office. Well, it’s kind of my office. I mean, I share it with other people, but I was the only one there today. Don’t judge me.
Morning pouring slowly over trees:
the leaftops sway and ripple
and for now absorb my attention
(and my carbons, my dioxides)
My breath is born here
(your breath, too)
Not filthy yet, not burdened
By epithet, by smoke, by
Heavy, unspoken –
But I’m watching the wind
of a thousand new breaths dance lazily
through live oak, magnolia, and –
Well, I thought it might comfort you
to know that each undrawn breath
begins as a song.
September 1st, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I like that. I wonder, though, why you chose to order the line as epithet, then smoke. Perhaps my interpretation of this is faulty, but I would think that smoke, then epithet would make more sense. Also, bear in mind that I am rubbish at poetry, so what do I know?
I haven’t had time to concentrate on writing lately, but that time will come soon, I think. I’m excited, too. I have some ideas a-brewin’ that I am eager to put to paper…or, you know, pixels and computer bytes.
September 1st, 2007 at 3:41 pm
* Note: By “make more sense,” I mean “seem like a more common transition for the average reader.”
September 1st, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I went with epithet first so I could have a little internal rhyme with the first half of the line before it. Who knows why I do things?
September 6th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Ah, got it. Makes much better sense now. See, this is why poetry needs to be read aloud. :)