Nasty Conjugation

Hi! Here’s the first scene of a radio play.

SCENE 1

THE SCENE OPENS WITH THE SOUND OF SOMEONE PANTING AND RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS. WE HEAR THE THUNK THUNK THUNK OF THEM CLIMBING A LADDER, FOLLOWED BY BANGING ON A WOODEN DOOR. CICADAS ARE SINGING IN THE BACKGROUND, AND THE SOUND OF TREES RUSTLING DRIFTS IN AT TIMES.

OGGIE: (panting) Let me in! Come on guys, let me in!

DEKE: What’s the password, Oggie?

OGGIE: Jeez, Deke, you already know it’s me!

DEKE: You still gotta say it.

OGGIE: Ugh, fine…

(beat)

DEKE: Don’t tell me you forgot it.

OGGIE: (whining) Nuts to the password, just let me up!

HAZEL: Just let him in, Deke.

THE DOOR CREAKS OPEN AND OGGIE CLAMBERS UP.

OGGIE: Thanks, Hazel.

DEKE: (muttering) It’s the principle of the thing, you’ve gotta have a password if you’ve got a secret tree fort.

HAZEL: What’s wrong, Oggie?

OGGIE: (still panting) I saw smoke coming from Skull Island! Like a campfire or something.

DEKE: (suddenly interested) A campfire?

HAZEL: Who would camp on Skull Island?

OGGIE: I don’t know, just that Deke told me to tell him if I ever saw -

OGGIE IS INTERRUPTED BY MORE BANGING ON THE TREE HOUSE DOOR.

EVELYN: Open up!

OGGIE: You gotta say the password to get in, Evelyn!

(SLAM!)

(holding his nose) Ow! You got my nose!

EVELYN: The password is, “Let me in, dweeb.”

OGGIE: (still holding nose) Is that really the password, Deke?

DEKE: It is now!

EVELYN: What’s going on?

DEKE: Oggie thinks there’s someone camping on Skull Island.

OGGIE: I saw smoke, like from a campfire or something!

EVELYN: No way. No one in their right mind would go camping on Skull Island.

HAZEL: Maybe they’re not in their right mind.

DEKE: Maybe it’s the pirates!

EVELYN: Ugh, it’s always pirates with you, Deke. Everyone knows it’s just a story, anyway.

DEKE: Then what is on Skull Island, Miss Know-it-All?

EVELYN: I dunno. Dinosaurs.

HAZEL: Vampires?

OGGIE: (hushed) Vampires?

DEKE: (frustrated) What makes the possibility of pirate treasure so much dumber than an island full of vampires?

OGGIE: I’ve heard there’s a huge monster that eats trespassers!

DEKE: Have you ever seen a monster?

OGGIE: (deflated) No…

EVELYN: Let’s go see a monster, then!

HAZEL: I don’t think so. For all we know it could be something dangerous.

OGGIE: Isn’t a monster, by definition, kinda dangerous?

DEKE: Screw to your monster! Whoever’s on that island must be looking for the treasure. We’ve gotta beat them to it!

EVELYN: What makes you so sure there’s really treasure on Skull Island, Deke?

DEKE: If you hid treasure somewhere, wouldn’t you want people to think there was a big awful monster guarding it?

(beat)

EVELYN: He’s got a point. There’s totally treasure on Skull Island.

HAZEL: I guess so…

OGGIE: Do you think we can really get to the treasure first? I mean, they’re already on the island.

DEKE: That’s why we’re gonna go tonight!

OGGIE: No way!

EVELYN: Yeah!

HAZEL: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

DEKE: Come on! Even if there isn’t treasure, we’ll bring the tent and be the first people to spend the night on Skull Island. It’ll be great!

HAZEL: Wouldn’t the people camping there right now be the first people to spend the night on Skull Island?

OGGIE LAUGHS LOUDLY, DISPROPORTIONATE TO THE JOKE. THERE IS A MOMENT OF SILENCE, PUNCTUATED BY DEKE CLEARING HIS THROAT.

OGGIE: (weakly) Can we bring marshmallows?

EVELYN: You would want marshmallows, Oggie.

DEKE: Alright! It’s settled. We’ll go home and get supplies -

EVELYN: (background, snidely) Like marshmallows.

DEKE: - and meet at the canoe at sundown. Sound good?

HAZEL: (resigned) Alright. Let’s at least remember to bring a flashlight this time.

OGGIE: Nobody told me! I didn’t know!

DEKE: What’s not obvious about bringing a flashlight when you go camping?

OGGIE: You forgot yours, too, Deke!

DEKE: Yeah, but if you’d brought yours it wouldn’t have mattered, goofus.

EVELYN: Goofus!

HAZEL: (sighs)

THE CONVERSATION FADES AS THE TREEHOUSE DOOR CREAKS OPEN AND THE FOUR FRIENDS THUNK THEIR WAY DOWN THE LADDER. THE SOUND OF A BIRD BURSTING FROM A TREE INTERRUPTS THE SUMMER AFTERNOON.

END SCENE 1.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 29th, 2008 at 6:26 pm and is filed under MWAMT, Scripts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.