Nasty Conjugation

Hi! Here’s the next scene in a radio play!

SCENE 2

WE OPEN ON THE WOODED SHORE AT DUSK - CRICKETS ARE CHIRPING, FROGS ARE CROAKING, NIGHT BIRDS ARE BEGINNING TO CALL, AND WATER LAPS AT THE SHORE. SOMEONE COMES CRASHING RECKLESSLY THROUGH THE WOODS.

EVELYN: I’m here! (beat) Where is everyone? Oh well. Hm…

WE HEAR RUSTLING AND MOVEMENT ACCOMPANIED BY OCCASSIONAL QUIET LAUGHTER FROM EVELYN. SILENCE AGAIN. AFTER A MOMENT SOMEONE ELSE APPROACHES, MORE TENTATIVELY THAN EVELYN.

OGGIE: Hey guys! Is anyone here yet? Hello? I know I know I heard someone a minute ago, so if you’re trying to trick me…(beat) Guys?

EVELYN: (leaping out noisily) RARR!

OGGIE SCREAMS SHRILLY AND STRUGGLES WITH EVELYN ON THE GROUND. EVELYN IS LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY.

OGGIE: AHHH! Monster! Get off get off get off!

EVELYN: (still laughing) You meatball!

DEKE: (approaching) Will you two quit making out and give me and Hazel a hand with the canoe?

HAZEL: Aww, I think they’re cute together.

EVELYN: (standing quickly) Ugh! Gross.

OGGIE: (brushing himself off) Yuck…I’d rather kiss the monster.

DEKE: Come on, I want to get in the water before the sun’s all the way down. Oggie and Evelyn, you lovebirds can uncover the canoe. Hazel, help me check our equipment.

HAZEL: Okay, Deke!

EVELYN: (mocking Hazel’s voice) Okay, Deke!

OGGIE: Lovebirds! Bleh!

WE HEAR OGGIE AND EVELYN RUSTLING AND BICKERING OFF TO THE SIDE AS THEY UNCOVER THE CANOE IN THE (LEFT) CHANNEL. SIMULTANEOUSLY, DEKE AND HAZEL CHECK THINGS OFF ON THE LIST IN THE RIGHT CHANNEL.

DEKE: Flashlights?

(EVELYN: Looking forward to meeting your new girlfriend, Oggie?)

HAZEL: Four flashlights. Check.

(OGGIE: New girlfriend?)

DEKE: Food?

(EVELYN: Monster girlfriend! Rrrr!)

HAZEL: Four PB&J sandwiches, four apples, one bag of marshmallows.

(OGGIE: Shut up, Evelyn.)

DEKE: You can just say ‘check’, Hazel.

HAZEL: Oh…check!

(EVELYN: You take the other end.)

DEKE: Tent?

(OGGIE: Hold on, I don’t have a good grip.)

HAZEL: Check.

(EVELYN: Heave…!)

DEKE: Matches?

(OGGIE: Wait wait wait!)

HAZEL: Check!

(EVELYN: HO!)

OGGIE YELLS AND FALLS INTO THE LAKE WITH A SPLASH.

EVELYN: Canoe’s ready!

OGGIE: Aww Ev, now I’m soaked.

DEKE: I call front seat!

EVELYN: Whoo! Second seat!

HAZEL: (just after EVELYN) Second - ugh, third seat.

OGGIE: I always have to sit in the back…

DEKE: You make the best ballast, Oggie!

EVELYN: (laughs)

THEY LOAD UP INTO THE CANOE AND SHOVE OFF. WE HEAR PADDLES DIPPING AND SPLASHING IN THE WATER ALONG WITH THE EVENING SOUNDS. OGGIE AND HAZEL CONVERSE IN THE LEFT CHANNEL, DEKE AND EVELYN IN THE RIGHT.

EVELYN: Let’s sing a pirate song!

DEKE: No pirate songs. Sound carries over open water, and we don’t want to lose the element of surprise.

EVELYN: (grumbling) No, wouldn’t want to lose that…

DESPITE EVELYN’S GRUMBLES, AFTER THIS POINT EVERYONE SPEAKS IN LOWER VOICES.

HAZEL: Isn’t the sunset beautiful? Like the sun’s sinking into the lake.

EVELYN: (scoffs) Like that could happen.

OGGIE: There goes the last of it.

THEY ROW IN SILENCE FOR A MOMENT. A WIND PICKS UP ON THE LAKE.

DEKE: They say that, a hundred years ago, Skull Island was a secret hideout where all the pirate crews in the area would come to drink, fight, and gamble the treasure they’d stolen.

EVELYN: Sounds better than the treehouse.

DEKE: Well, one pirate decided he wasn’t satisfied with robbing towns up and down the coast - he was going to rob the other pirates, too!

HAZEL: No honor among thieves, apparently.

DEKE: He convinced a small group of his closest allies that, one night after all the other pirates had drunk themselves to sleep, they’d -

OGGIE: Hey, do you guys see that?

DEKE: Seriously, Oggie! Did you have to wait until the best part to interrupt?

HAZEL: No, he’s right, Deke. Look over there. There’s a blue light on the water.

DEKE: Huh…must be somebody night fishing or something.

OGGIE: What if it’s the pirates!

EVELYN: They’re too far away to see us, anyway.

THE WIND HAS PROGRESSIVELY GOTTEN STRONGER. THERE’S A STRANGE, WHISPERING QUALITY TO IT.

OGGIE: Brrr…I’m freezing. Thanks a lot for pushing me in the lake, Evelyn.

EVELYN: Any time, champ.

THE WHISPERING BECOMES LOUDER, BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE A VOICE.

OGGIE: What’s that noise?

HAZEL: What noise, Oggie?

OGGIE: Like someone whispering.

EVELYN: It must be ghosts, Oggie! Quick, jump in the lake before it’s too late!

DEKE: It’s true, ghosts hate water.

SPECTRAL VOICE: Young moths, fly to me…

OGGIE: I’m serious guys! It’s not funny.

DEKE: Really, Oggie. We’re not doing anything.

SPECTRAL VOICE: Oh! I grow so hungry!

HAZEL: Are you okay, Oggie?

SPECTRAL VOICE: (becoming louder) Pluck off your wings. Crawl to me!

OGGIE: Shut up! Stop!

DEKE: Oggie! Stop being a freak out!

EVELYN: Knock it off before you tip the canoe!

SPECTRAL VOICE: (overpowering DEKE and EVELYN) Place them in my mouth, make tribute, fill me with flight!

OGGIE: (yelling) How do you not hear that?!

THE NIGHT BECOMES COMPLETLEY SILENT. BIRDS STOP CALLING, FROGS CEASE CROAKING, THE WIND ABATES.

SPECTRAL VOICE: (quiet again) Come. Rest with me awhile.

DEKE: What the hell were you -

DEKE IS INTERRUPTED BY A LOUD CLAP OF THUNDER. HAZEL SCREAMS. RAIN BEGINS TO FALL, AND THE WIND PICKS UP AGAIN.

EVELYN: Great. First Oggie loses it, now we’ve got a thunderstorm.

DEKE: Hurry up guys. We can figure out what happened after we get to the island.

HAZEL: (quietly, to OGGIE) Are you sure you’re okay, Oggie?

OGGIE: Yeah…I guess so. I must’ve just let my imagination get the better of me, or something…

HAZEL: You don’t sound convinced.

OGGIE: Don’t worry about it. Let’s just get to the island before anything else happens.

ANOTHER LOUD CLAP OF THUNDER ROLLS ACROSS THE LAKE. WE HEAR THE FOUR INCREASING THEIR PADDLING EFFORTS AS THE WIND AND RAIN LASH THE SURFACE OF THE WATER.

END SCENE 2.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 6th, 2008 at 11:51 am and is filed under MWAMT, Scripts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.